If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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