In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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