I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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