He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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