I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize