What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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