I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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