if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
