I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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