And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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