I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
