ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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