how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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