i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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