so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sober January is a disaster.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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