never play flip cup with pint glasses
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
