Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
