is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
and you fell through a lawn chair
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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