it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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