Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
