I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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