i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
