I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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