eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
