I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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