she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize