Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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