butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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