Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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