I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
