You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
