Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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