I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
