i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You were trust falling into bushes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
