Soap is not a condiment
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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