so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
