It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
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