i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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