Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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