I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
