I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
