I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
