I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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