The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.