So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.