Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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