just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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