ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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