At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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