ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
