I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize