he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i dont even know how to be here
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
