i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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