Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
