im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
