the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
