i was born a porn star she said
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
