it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's always time for handjobs
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
